The Smelly Kid

A teacher in Newfoundland was suspended without pay this week for spraying one of her students with Febreze because he smelled like fish. BULLSHIT I SAY!

We all remember the smelly kid in class. Whether it was B.O, tuna, or some unidentified odour that had the entire class cringing. Why shouldn't teachers be able to spray you with Febreze? If it's an offensive odour (which fish most certainly is) then fuck.. spray away.

Classrooms should also be outfitted with hygiene products such as deodorant and toothpaste for when that same smelly asshole shows up without a shower.

Look, being that smelly kid is embarrassing. If you're reading this and you don't remember one, it was probably you. And that is not okay. If parents drop the ball and send their child out the door without proper bathing and a lunch that won't obviously offend the student body, it is up to teachers to take matters in to their own hands.

Why I Mock the Raptors

What disease does this guy have?

Lately people have asked me, "What gives? I thought you were a Raptors fan."

Well, I am.. I reply.

"So how come you insist on mocking every aspect of the franchise?"

The obvious answer is.. they fucking SUCK, that's why!

But truthfully, that's only part of the equation. The Toronto Raptors and NBA basketball has been a passion for the better part of the last decade. When I was in college I watched at least 75 or more games each season. Unfortunately, it's just fun or entertaining to root for this team anymore. It's like watching your diabetic friend pour sugar down his throat every single day until their heart stops beating.

I cared too much about the team. I got too angry when, seemingly for the 10th year in a row, they drafted a tall white kid from Europe that reminds us all of Aruajo. I got too confused when Colangelo hired a defensive coach, but filled his roster with players who can't even spell the word. I got too bored when Chuck Swirsky left and the play-by-play job was left to a perverted robot.

I feel betrayed by a franchise that doesn't owe me anything. I've spent a lot of money on tickets and merchandise, but that doesn't mean I should have expectations. Not in Toronto. Not with MLSE.

I mock the Raptors because they burned me. Burned all the fans who care about winning.

I mock the Raptors.. well.. because they suck.

My Dream Girl

I know she's there. I know this for a fact.

She has intelligence. The basis of everything. The bottom row of the pyramid. The single most important aspect. Without the IQ, nothing else matters, and oh she has it. She challenges me with it. She doesn't sit back and let me dominate the conversation. She sparks the conversation. She drives the conversation. And my dream girl is smart enough to change even my most stubborn mind when I know she is right.

With that intelligence spawns her amazing sense of humour. Sharp as a whip and quick with the wit. Sarcastic as hell, and can swear like a sailor. A great sense of humour is so important to me. Life is heavy and serious so often, and I need something to lighten that up on a daily basis. Naturally her favourite movie has to be Dumb & Dumber, otherwise what are the odds of a guy like her and a girl like me ending up together? Less than one in a million. And you can't fake funny. Either you are, or you're not. She is absolutely hilarious.

We will share so many similarities to go along with our many differences. The similarities draw us together, while the differences will push us forward in to being better, more well rounded people. We can open a bottle of wine after dinner and talk until the sun comes up. Discussing. Teaching. Learning. Growing. Never a judgement and always an understanding. Truly being interested in what has shaped the other person and what as made us who we are.

My dream girl isn't petty or shortsighted. I see a lot of relationships where the couple gets in a few fights and that's the end of it. The truth is, you fight in relationships. Sometimes like cats and dogs. But you don't give up. You have each other's backs and know that through thick and thin, ups and downs, you always have support. You have to care for each other and truly have an appreciation. Never take her for granted, because without love all the money in the world won't save you from loneliness. She is number one.

My dream girl has a VCR in the bedroom just because she likes it.

My dream girl can tell you who Bret "The Hitman" Hart is and can sing you Shawn Michaels' theme song word for word.

My dream girl has her priorities in check. She knows what's important in life, but never stops doing goofy things for fun. Family has to be of utmost importance. Goals and aspirations to follow. She knows that buying a homeless person a coffee is more important than Starbucks every day.

She not only watches sports, but "gets" sports. She knows the player's names, the rules and the standings. An idea of a great night is having a few beers, eating some chicken wings and watching the Leafs stomp the Habs.

Having so many common interests is what makes her my dream girl. The ability to be a better person because of what she instills in me. The desire to share all of life's wonderful experiences with her, from the very biggest, right down to the seemingly boring.

There are also many qualities about her I won't know about for several years, and that is all part of the fun. Always growing closer.

My dream girl is my best friend.

Anybody Listening - Week that was, and spookiness

In this week's episode, Keegan Wiebe (@KeeganWiebe) rides shotgun to discuss a myriad of topics.

First up is online privacy. How much of the information available to other people is our fault?

Sticking with the news, if you live in Canada and you're not a hockey fan, good luck watching the news between September and June.

We get into a small discussion about the death penalty, and whether or not it's still useful in today's society.

Lastly, I ask Keegan a very spooky question, that I also pose to listeners as well. Enjoy!

To stream the podcast on your browser CLICK HERE

To listen on your mobile device CLICK HERE

To download and subscribe in iTunes (you may have to click 'refresh' in bottom right corner of iTunes):

Enjoy the episode, and don't forget to like it on Facebook!

Anybody Listening - Too much death. And rugby

Jimmy Leeward with the plane that crashed in Reno

This episode of Anybody Listening is a "Week That Was" format where I share and talk about news that may or may not be garnering major headlines, but issues I think need to be addressed.

Today, I talk about the tragic air plane crash at a Reno air show that killed at least 3 people, but may have caused mass casualties.

I discuss a report by CBC News claiming Swiss Air Flight 111 from September 8, 1998 may not have been accidental. The plane was carrying a Saudi Prince, a former shah of Iran, several high-profile U.N. Officials, and over half a billion dollars of diamonds and gems.

A teenager tried to commit suicide by jumping on the 401 highway yesterday, the body of his "best friend" was found close by in a wooded area in what was believed to be an attempted murder suicide. I talk about the event, and how out of control bullying seems to be.

A dwarf Gordan Ramsay lookalike adult film star was found dead inside a badgers den. So obviously I talk about that.

Tim Hortons and Starbucks - just how bad are these drinks for you?

In the second segment, I talk with Sam (@BluekiHunter) about The World Cup of Rugby, and what Canada's victory means for the country and the sport.

To stream the podcast on your browser CLICK HERE

To listen on your mobile device CLICK HERE

To download and subscribe in iTunes (you may have to click 'refresh' in bottom right corner of iTunes):

Enjoy the episode, and don't forget to like it on Facebook!

Another piece of my childhood dies

It was recently announced that all Blockbuster Video locations across Canada would be shutting their doors for good in the next couple of months.

And with that, a large part of my childhood will shut down along with it.

After hearing this news, I was much sadder than I thought I would be, and not just because of the nostalgia factor. I would still frequently pop into a Blockbuster simply to browse, or take advantage of their previously viewed DVD deals. If not for those, there are a ton of movies I never would have seen.

I understand that Blockbuster did drop the ball when they refused to at least portion some of their business to online streaming, or a movie/game mail delivery service. However, it will still be a sad day when I can no longer go in to one of these video stores.

When I was younger, Blockbuster was always one of my favourite places to go. I have always loved movies, and was a video game freak as well. Every weekend essentially centred around it. I'd take my $10 allowance (damn, that was so much money at the time, wasn't it?), grab lunch at either Pizza Hut, Burger King or Guest Wok (I'm telling you, the best Chinese take-out in Ontario) and then walk around Blockbuster for as long as it took to find the right video game for the weekend.

Walking in to a Blockbuster store always had a certain smell. Not sure how to describe it, but it was almost like carnival. Popcorn, candy, and the scent of freshly open plastic for the games and movies. I will never forget that.

In the earlier days, they would also have video game systems set up for customers to play. I remember spending a lot of time with Starfox 64. Remember how fucked up the joystick on an N64 controller would get with so much play? The thing barely even worked!

Alas, the rest of the visit would be spent walking up and down the aisles, looking at the back of every new game to see which one would be the best. If you were a video game fan, this was a crucial decision. If you rented a shitty game, your weekend was ruined. This was long before the days of the internet when you could look at reviews or grab opinions from Twitter. You had to trust your gut and the back of the box. Such a simpler time.

I also remember the times my parents would take me there on a week day to rent a movie. This was a big deal for me, because it meant I got to run around looking and playing at games while they picked out a flick.

As I got older, Blockbuster became the place that my friends and I would go if we were bored on a Friday night. Being able to browse the horror section and seeing films from the 70's and 80's was great. Nowadays, it seems as though you have to specifically seek out a movie, and the spontaneity of finding something that looks great, or so bad it'll be great, are mostly gone.

These social experiences and memories will be replaced by Netflix and iTunes. One click shopping that doesn't require leaving the house or using your brain. Suggestions made for you to replace the fun of looking at covers and finding an obscure film.

The ability to rent a video game is also out the window for the most part. There aren't any Rogers Video locations within a reasonable distance to me. So now it comes down to buying, or never playing. There are many titles that I have rented over the years because I knew after a week, I probably wouldn't play it much. A shame really.

No more carnival smell. No more shitty horror movies. No more looking at the back of the box.

9/11 - Ten Years Later

Sunday, September 11, 2011 marks the 10th anniversary of one of the most tragic events in world history. Hard to believe it has been a full decade since that day. For anybody alive on that day, the memories will be forever etched in our minds. I wanted to gather those memories and share them with you.

I have collected many written accounts of that day via Twitter and email, and also have a new podcast available with three stories, including my own.

To listen to the podcast CLICK HERE (Note: This will open in the same window. To continue reading while listening, click to open a copy of this page.)

To download and subscribe in iTunes:


Shane Powers (@Theshanepowers) shared a video yesterday with his memory of the day. Click here to view.

The following are the written accounts from those gracious enough to share their story. The emotions range from sad, angry, confused.. the whole gamut. They are stories we will never forget.

Adian Charlie (@PatrickTussie) – Victoria, BC

I found out while listening to the radio on my way to work. I will never forget listening to the radio as the announcer told us a second plane hit the WTC. I was tired and for a moment I wondered whether I was still asleep. Immediately I felt choked up yet it did not feel real.

9/11 happened well before mass social media/data devices. I couldn't pull out an iphone or Android to confirm or read updates regarding the reports. My only source of information was incoming co-workers. Each person expressed remorse, pain and misery. I have never carried such a heavy heart during any work day. During my first break I called my father and my family was glued to the TV. The attacks still didn't feel real. My mind was denying this was happening, yet I could feel the tension in the air.

Reality struck me like a punch in the face when I went home and watched the footage. I have never witnessed anything more tragic or terrifying. The tears began to flow as the cameras showed citizens jumping out of windows. I cannot imagine being placed in that spot, the last decision those people ever made is upsetting: Die by fire or die by jumping?

I will be forever thankful to any individual who helped others during this day. I can only cross my fingers and hope we never see another event like this again. Unfortunately the world we live in is so fucked up it feels like a matter of time.

The following three stories are provided with help from Louise Burns. Much appreciated.

Rene P - Florida

I'll never forget. I was in 3rd period when I found out. Before class everyone's cell phone service went out. We thought it was weird, then we heard that the first plane hit. Thought it was an accident, once the second plane hit no one had to be told, we all knew it was terrorism. Everyone with family in NY frantically tried to reach their loved ones. My aunt and uncle lived up state but frequently travelled to the city as attorneys so I was going crazy trying to find a phone that worked. Thankfully the were in California. As for impact on me, I'd be lying if I didn't say it's a large reason I chose to go into law enforcement. 

Jodi Herschelman

I was in Lubbock, Texas at college driving to class and radio was telling about it then I called my momma (God bless her soul) and she was watching HGTV so I told her to turn on the news. Went to class and it got cancelled so I went home and one of my roomies came out of her room and was like can I wear your flip flops. I was like umm terrorist attack!! I pointed to tv and we just sat and watched the two towers fall. My roomies brother was/is in the US military so we started making calls and had all our friends over and everyone just sat and talked and cried a lot! I wanted to go home in Dallas, TX with my parents and aunt/cousins but was 600 miles away so just clutched close to my college friends/fam. Times changed fast and every one of us was so much more aware of our surroundings and classes at school were all about 9.11 and is or will be more attacks. I just prayed, I wasnt scared just more saddened for USA, Americans and the confused.

Abhishek Gandhi – Canada 

I lived in New Mexico when it happened and we were 2 hours behind New York time. I was sleeping when it happened, I got up, got ready and went to school. Everyone in my class was glued to the tv and watching CNN. I had no idea what had happened so I asked my friend who sat next to me. He said 2 planes hit the WTC. My first reaction was that I had no idea the WTC existed. CNN kept showing the second plane that hit the north tower and I had mixed emotions. I didn't know how to react. At first, everyone was saying how can this happen? I saw my teacher almost cry and everyone figured out it was a terrorist attack because it has to be, two planes can't just h the WTC within the space of 10 minutes by accident. I seriously didn't know how to react. It didn't have a big impact on me because I didn't know how many people died or anything but as the day went on I got to learn more and more about it. That's when it hit me that this is big. Teachers didnt' even teach they were all in shock they couldn't teach. That day was strange and oddand different. I still can't forget it

Aaron Skwarcan (@AaronSkwarcan) – Danville, Indiana

I was in second grade and I remember teachers frantically coming in and out of the rooms. We turned on the tv's in every room. At the time I don't think any of us (students) knew what was happening. I found out when I got home and my mom was crying in front of the tv and I remember her saying "Aaron something very sad happened earlier today." Old, vivid memories.

Katie (@sinksships) – Toronto, Ontario

I was in a lecture at university when I found out. I wasn't thinking it was terrorist related until 2nd plane hit, I still couldn't grasp what had really happened or the extent of it until I got home to view the horrific coverage. It was heartbreaking.

Dylan Trahan (@DylanTrahan) – Oakville, Ontatio

I was in french class and my principal ran in and told us that the white house was under attack.

Sandi (@sandikat)

I watched live.. waiting to enjoy my birthday in Victoria. Went to the Japanese village for dinner, seated w/ppl stuck there.. because of the grounded planes. Not my favorite birthday.

Jacob (@jacobgallo) – Toronto, Ontario

I was in grade five. My whole class had to stay inside all day listening to AM radio about what happened. Our substitute teacher didn't let us go outside - not even for recess - because she was too paranoid we'd be attacked. My uncle in New York was riding to work on his motorcycle about 5 mins away from Ground Zero when he saw it all happen. He said from where he was, there wasn't a cloud in the sky; it was one of those picture-perfect days before the attack. Then he said the sky, in the blink of an eye, just went from blue to grey/black due to the smoke and the smell was unbearable.

Rachel (@rmspiar) – Toronto, Ontatio

I was here in TO but I was booked to play a Mess Dinner for an anti-terrorism conference run through NATO that night. Irony.

Erika S. (@rinkrebel) – Washington, DC

I live in DC but grew up in IL. Was in 3rd period French class my junior year of HS when I heard. Grew up about 45 minutes outside of Chicago, I was scared for the Sears Tower. We had a quiz scheduled that day in French, our teacher made us continue on with the quiz. Watched TV in all other classes.

Erin Coyne (@RosebudOMalley) – Portland, Oregon

I was a SR in HS. My mom came into my room & said "You need to get up and watch the news. The world is about to change forever"

Frank Meneses Jr. (@Frankiology_M) – Toronto, Ontario

I was in grade 3, & I noticed the teachers were acting a little different than usual. Only when I got home did I understand why

Alexis Allen (@AlexisAvenged) – Westfield, New Jersey

My whole life my dad worked at MSG/Penn Station. they moved away right before 9/11. i stayed behind in college in NJ. scariest ever. fresh yr - FBI/private airport behind my school. everything was locked down. i smelled the burning bodies. it still creeps me out. the smell lingered forever. you could see the smoke from our rooftop. i will never forget it.

Hopefully you have appreciated the memories of those gracious enough to share. Feel free to tell your story in the comment section, and pass this link around.

FOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAALL

I think I've written a post similar to this at the start of every NFL season since I started blogging. I could surely link you back to one of the previous ones, but that would just be lazy.

The NFL season kicks off tonight. Men rejoice. Women break up with their boyfriends. Unless they're cool as fuck, then they're rejoicing too. The NFL is the best sport in the world. Am I bias? No. For that is simply a fact to which there is no debate. Allow me to indulge you for a moment and explain why if you disagree, you are incorrect.

Sunday baby, Sunday. Every single team, aside from bye weeks and Monday night (and of course Thursday night in the second half) plays on the same day. It's sports overload. You always know when your team is playing and you rarely have to miss a game unless you decided to be an idiot and work on Sundays.

It's an all-day extravaganza. What other sport can you wake up at 11am, pop on a pre-game show, crack open a beer and not have to move until midnight? That is, except to break the seal and grab more beer [Editor's note: and pizza]. There's simply no other sport like it. What's that you say, the NBA on TNT double header? Well suck me sideways, you're right*! (*embarrassingly wrong)

Parity. There are certainly a handful of teams who have absolutely no chance at the Super Bowl when the season starts, but that number is far less than in any other league. In the NBA and MLB, you can narrow it down to within 6 teams that have a legitimate shot. A few more in the NHlL. But in the NFL it is wide open to at least 15 teams that can surprise everybody and win the whole thing.

Short schedule. Baseball is great, but 162 games to determine 4 playoff teams? C'mon. In the NFL every single game matters like it's do or die. The "it's just one game" cliche doesn't apply here. A loss can cost you everything whether it's in week 1 or week 17.

Last, and certainly not least.. fantasy football. Call me a geek all you want (really I appreciate that) but fantasy football is one of the most entertaining things for a fan. It's about as close as you can get to being a GM without spending $60 on Madden. Nothing better than competing against your friends and talking shit all season.

There are plenty more reasons, but I don't want to make you feel too stupid for having believed any other sport was better than NFL football.

100,000 Tweets. Yuck

Tweet 100,000. Who'da thunk it?

Yesterday, I passed the 100,000 tweets mark on Twitter. Yes, I know that's a lot of fucking tweets, believe me. I signed up for Twitter on December 19, 2008. Almost three full years later here we are.. and I have to say it's been a ride. And it's become a staple in my daily life. Different now than it was then though, for sure.

Back when I hit my first 1,000 tweets, I posted this blog on the highlights of my first 1k. Boy, I was a lot tamer back then, huh?

Twitter has changed a lot over the last 3 years. When it first started up, people just wanted to interact with each other. Now, it's loaded with ego, marketing, and people just wanting to make a name for themselves. I understand the irony coming from a dude with a blog and a podcast, but if you follow me, you know promoting myself isn't exactly at the forefront of my content. 

That said, we all have to evolve. Whether it be in our personal lives, public lives or our internet lives. As such, after 100,000 tweets, and a hell of a lot of ranting, my online persona will undergo a slight change. 

I had originally said I would quit tweeting at the six figure mark, but have decided against that. Instead I will be using it to focus more on my blog and podcast, as a vehicle for that content. Now, don't go and call me a hypocrite and say now I'm just a marketer, because it'll be the same old rants and opinions as usual, just in a forum where I can better convey my message. I'll try not to rip on the dumb shit people talk about, like coffee and how tired they are. I'll try not to get in petty Twitter arguments, but will always welcome a healthy debate. 

Change is good.

With that, despite my jaded, bitter appearance, I appreciate all of those who follow and have followed me over the years. And I appreciate all those who I have followed who have brightened up the boring days with what they say. 

And with that, I will leave you with some of my favourite tweets of all time. Some are from me (who doesn't laugh at their own jokes from time to time?) but most are from some awesome people. One thing is for sure, they're funny! 

She doesn't tweet much, or at all anymore, but it was good while it lasted

Smuckers was gross

Possibly my favourite tweet of all time

That's funny

I laugh every single time I read this

One of many drunk tweets. Still don't know what I was trying to say

Meeeeee either

I hope Lawrence Dennis isn't reading this

I know it's offensive, but that shit is funny

I think this speaks for itself

Only Twitter contest I ever did, and won three $250 Raps tickets. Thanks Reggie!

This guy.. 

Smearing shit is almost always better than Facebook

Thank you again Twitter, and here's a list of all the people mention above. You should follow them, because clearly they are awesome.

@Theshanepowers, @nicolekrobb, @lilduval, @tuohyforever, @roofer_on_fire, @Seanfunk, @TaviaMae, @AndrewHansen, @the_ironsheik, @bananza, @ReggieEvans30, @bokeen, @tsnotoole, @Puppy_Biscuits

Daily Reminder: New Zealand aiming for zero emissions

Recently I had an Inspirational Day and wrote a blog about. I made the statement I was going to try to be more positive. It's a work in progress and I've fallen off the wagon a couple times, but have realized I need to surround myself with more positivity. I can only try so hard, but if everything I read and see is negative it will be difficult.

That is why I'm happy to come across this story coming out of New Zealand.

A group of young New Zealanders have started an organization called Generation Zero. Their goal is a true inspiration. Their goal is achievable.

Their goal is to make New Zealand an emissions-free country by the year 2050.

Imagine that? A world without carbon emissions. Air you can actually breathe again. A night sky where you can actually see the stars instead of a thick orange haze. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

They have four main targets.

• A plan to achieve zero net emissions in New Zealand before 2050
• A timetable set in legislation to action the plan, with three year milestones
• A plan that emphasises emissions reductions but allows the use of permanent, biodiverse afforestation to meet targets
• A plan that ensures today’s carbon bills get paid today

It's incredibly inspiring to see a younger generation taking charge. We always here the saying "The future is in our hands" but many of us don't seize that opportunity. 

With all the depressing news about economy, global warming, war and the tragedies that came from the home of Generation Zero, it is imperative for our well being that we mix in positivity as much as possible. 

Let this be a lesson to us all, and let's help our future.

You can follow Generation Zero on Twitter: @GenerationZer0